Monday, September 11, 2006

الان داشتم به یه دوستم نامه مینوشتم راجع به اینکه دیشب یه فیلم ترسناک دیدم و چقدر شجاع بودم و هیچ خودم رو خراب مراب نکردم. به شوخی داشتم میگفتم اینم از شجاع السلطنه که یه دفه یاد پدر پدر پدربزرگم (یا پدر پدر پدر پدربزرگم) که اصلا اسمش (یعنی لقبش) شجاع السلطنه بوده افتادم. حالا نمیدونم بیچاره رو مسخره کرده بودن این لقبو بهش داده بودن یا اینکه واقعا یک کار شجاعانه کرده بوده و مثلا به جنگ اژدها رفته بوده یا غول یک چشم رو در کوه قاف زندانی کرده بوده یا یه همچین چیزی. آه آه حالا فک و فامیلای شازده مازده مون نیان اینجا که چرا به آقا توهین کردی! باشه بابا حتما خیلی کارش درست بوده. خلاصه بعدها بخاطر همین آقای شجاع السلطنه شد که طرف مادری من فامیلشون شد شجاع نیا.ل
حالا به اینا کاری نداریم من فقط سر این جریان یک داستان شجاع السلطنه بازی اساسی یادم اومد که فکر کردم اینجا بنویسم. داستان از اونجا شروع میشه که یک روز من، مامانم و دختر خاله مامانم، زی زی جون خونه دختر عمه مامانم، عمه شیرین دعوت بودیم. عمه شیرین بیچاره کلی زحمت کشیده بودن و خونه شون رو تر و تمیز و خوشگل کرده بودن و یک گلدون گل بنفشه رو هم که تازه برای ایوونشون کاشته بودن و خیلی خوشگل شده بود گذاشته بودن روی میز سالن. مثل اینکه قشنگی زیاد گلهاشون باعث شده بود که عمه شیرین موضوع ترس عجیب غریب زی زی جون از این گلها رو که همه فامیل در جریانش هستن فراموش کنن.ل
ما رسیدیم به خونه عمه شیرین. به ترتیب داشتیم از پله ها بالا میرفتیم. اول زی زی جون بعد مامانم بعد هم من. زی زی جون اول از همه وارد خونه شدن ولی تا وقتی مامانم به در خونه برسه در حال جیغ کشیدن و بدو از در خونه بیرون آمدن بودن. مامان من که اینو دید (اونطور که بعدا خودش تعریف میکرد) فکر کرد که خب حتما یه چیز خیلی ترسناکی توی اون خونه اس و چون ترسناکترین چیز در دنیا برای مامان من گربه اس، اون هم به این فکر که حتما الان یک گربه چاق و چله و ختم و خالی اون تو روی مبل نشسته، جیغ کشان از پشت زی زی جون شروع کرد به دوییدن. منم که اینا رو دیدم (البته اون موقع دروغکی گفتم که من فکر کردم خونه آتیش گرفته ولی حالا که دیگه بزرگ شدم باید اعتراف کنم که) فکر کردم حتما یه کفتر اومده تو خونه! چه کنم منم با کفتر مشکل دارم دیگه. منم شروع کردم دوییدن ولی خیغ دیگه نمیکشیدم چون تین ایجر بودم و نمیخوستم ژستم خراب بشه. در ضمن کفش ورزشی هم پام بود و میدونستم که تا من به حیاط برسم این پرنده هه یا هر چی که هست به من نخواهد رسید. زی زی جون هم با وجود کفشهای خیلی پاشنه بلندشون الحق که خوب میدوییدن. مامانم فقط یک ذره مشکل داشت که اونم با جیغ زدن داشت جبران میکرد. نمیدونم نقشه داشت گربه بیچار رو کر کنه یا چی! نه بابا شوخی میکنم بیچاره مامان من اصلا جیغ زن نیست همینطوری فقط در حال فرار یه صداهایی از خودش در می آورد، زوزه مانند.ل
خلاصه ماها همه تمام یه طبقه رو دوباره دوییدیم رفتیم تو حیاط، بیچاره عمه شیرین هم هاج و واج بدنبالمون. بنفشه ها و گربه چاقه و کفتره هم اون بالا برا خودشون پارتی کردن!ل

18 Comments:

Blogger Seadat said...

ایت واز اینترستینگ ایندید.

3:33 pm, September 12, 2006  
Anonymous شازده کوچولو said...

آره...می گن هر کسی از ظنّ خود شد یار ما...! حالا این مشکل تو با کفتر ها از کجا شروع شده؟

8:05 pm, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Chakameh Azimpour said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:36 am, September 15, 2006  
Blogger Chakameh Azimpour said...

Oh My GOD. Shirin, it was one of the best posts. It was very funny and very happy.
I really like the way you express the situation(s),Feel like I know you for such a long time. Hope you are always happy and have wonderful time :-))

1:40 am, September 15, 2006  
Blogger Amir Sharifi said...

Shirin
That was hilarious; I hope you never run out of these fun stories...
Cheers
A

3:21 am, September 15, 2006  
Blogger Chakameh Azimpour said...

Sorry Shirin Jan. I know here is your place, but I feel the urge to write two lines for this Mr or Mrs Anonymous.
Hey friend. I have a name, which is Chakameh. I had never seen Shirin, nor knew her blog until 3 months ago. Came across her blog, liked it, and introduced it to my friends. So, I probably doesn't fit into your classification.
But, YOU, who doesn't have a name. You are no one. If you wanna express yourself, introduce yourself and then talk.
There is a very famous quote in the blog world: If you don't like someones's personal blog, DON'T READ IT. It is this easy.

6:35 pm, September 18, 2006  
Blogger Shirin said...

Hmm, wasn’t it just ;-)

Valla nemidoonam in jaryan az koja shoroo shodeh shaazdeh jaan. Bayad beram hypnotism sham ta shayad yadam biad keh masalan yeh kaftari dar nozaadi (nozadiyeh man albateh na nozadiyeh kaftereh ;-) masalan pestonakeh mano dozdideh ya roo sooratam kharabi kardeh ya yeh chizeh intori. Raasti beh yeh monasebati optioneh Farsi nevisi az rooyeh computeram rafteh. Shish rooz Kamyar ro too khooneh tanha gozashtam in ham natijash ;-)

Thanks a lot Chakmeh :-) It’s great to hear from you. And about your other comment, thanks for coming to my aid. That is so sweet. Ma bacheh bahalha bayad havayeh hamdigaro daashteh bashim digeh, mageh na? ;-) But don’t you think it’s a great achievement to write something that supposedly gets so badly on someone’s nerves, yet that someone still not only reads it but leaves two comments too :-) I’m well chuffed, me ;-) Oh the joys of blogging!

Thanks Amir :-) This is just one of those stories that I think of every now and then in not-so-funny situations and quietly cheer myself up a bit. Yes, I’m very easily pleased ;-) It’s good to know you liked it too.

Bah bah Agha Anonymous! Khosh oomadin. Safa avordin ;-) Bandeh hamin alan khasteh va koofteh az safareh Paris bargashtam va in commenteh zibayeh shoma ro didam va kolli khandidam va haal kardam. Akheh man begheyr az loos boodam hesaabi kermaki ham hastam va bishtareh eshgheh weblog nevisim ineh keh yeh mogheyee yeh aadameh safravi mezaaj mesleh jenabeh aali gozaresh beh in tarafa biofteh keh bandeh ba neveshteh-haam beram roo asaabesh. Moteassefaneh vali in ettefaagh ziad nemiofteh chon mamoolan mardom ageh az chizi khosheshoon nayad ya asaabeshoon ro beh ham berizeh, edaameh be khoondanesh nemidan. Vali gah-godari ham yek kasi mesleh sarakar peyda misheh keh alaveh bar safravi mezaaj boodan, masochism ham daareh yah beh har dalili haal mikoneh keh khodesh ro azab bedeh va bavojoodi keh asaabesh ba khoondaneh in “khozabalaat” kamelan zadeh misheh, bazham hameyeh post-ha va comment-ha ro keh mikhooneh hichi, tazeh comment ham mizareh va dobareh ham barmigardeh bebineh baz ham chizi barayeh khondan hast ya na. Yani omidvaram bargardi chon man vaghan az shogheh khoondaneh comenthayeh ayandeat (beh gholeh Pir Hussein) mashghooleh nagonjidan dar poosteh khod hastam ;-)
Raasti man naveyeh shojaa-osaltaneh namisham, man nabireh ya nadidash misham.

Dobareh Anonymous jaan, kheili mamnoon, man movazeb hastam. Az inkeh negaran boodi keh yeh vaght kaftar mano bokhoreh kehili motshakeram, vali fekr konam negaranit bija basheh chon kaftarhayeh diyareh ma kheili shahkar konan momkeneh yeh zareh Ham ghatiyeh yeh sadevich baasheh bokhoran vali aadam bokhor beh hich vajh nistan.

9:40 pm, September 18, 2006  
Anonymous Ostan said...

Shirin joun it was very funny, thanks. I'm going to call my mother to read it too. Just wanted to add that tohin ba hey do cheshmeh na ba heye gimi.

12:12 pm, September 21, 2006  
Anonymous negar said...

this reminds me of something along the same lines that happened to my mom and me. one day we were grilling out in the backyard and in one of the many inside-outside trips a large, hideous black butterfly flew inside the house. now i'm seriously scared of big insects that can fly because they fly right into your face and if your mouth happens to be open they don't hesitate to go in (or at least that's how it seems to me) so during the lunch i made a big deal out of this and begged my parents to do something about it. "relax," they said, "it's just a butterfly!" hours passed and came the night. the butterfly was still inside the house, watching tv with his new adopted family. so i went to my room, closed the door and declared that i would not come out until the butterfly was gone. so my dad found a big shopping bag and trapped the butterfly inside. as he was heading out to free the butterfly we saw that there was a whole in the bag so I started screaming "hurry up, hurry up! there's a hole in the bag." my poor dad got nervous and opened the door which we didn't normally open at nights because there's always a lizard or two behind it, waiting to jump (or whatever it is lizards do) inside the house. and you guessed it, that's exactly what happened. out went the butterfly, in came the lizard. now my mom is really scared of lizards so she ran into her room, closed the door and started yelling at me calling me a coward for wanting the butterfly thrown out in the first place!
it was quite a scene as each of us was trying to justify our fear by yelling at each other the reasons butterflies/lizards shouldn't be inside the house.
but i have to admit, your second cousin's flower phobia is pretty bizarre!

8:22 pm, September 21, 2006  
Blogger Shirin said...

Thanks Ostan :-) and also for your ghalat giri. I’ve changed it now. It’s really weird making mistakes like that. I mean my dikteh was never that great but it was definitely better than this. At least practicing like this it won’t get any worst though.

Oh my god Negar that really made me laugh. What a scene it must have been. I myself have a massive moth phobia so I can totally sympathise with the whole butterfly thing. I’d sooner have five lizards in the house than one big black butterfly or a fat moth banging itself against a lamp or watching television.
Yes my mum’s cousin’s pansy phobia is pretty bizarre. I also have an aunt who is scared of sunflowers and another who is scared of peaches, apricots and chaghaleh baadoom (in short, fuzzy fruit)

6:01 pm, September 23, 2006  
Blogger bijan said...

How rude of anonymous! I had no idea people could be so wierd! I enjoyed your story. I think this runs in the family. My mother would not touch peaches (fuzzy fruit). I won't eat Kaleh-pacheh or zaboon (tongues)

9:35 pm, October 21, 2006  
Blogger bijan said...

Hi Shirin,
Can you please tell me how you write in Farsi? Do you use a Persian word processor or is there a trick to it to download the fonts or something like that? A friend of mine has asked me. Also, do you have/get keyboad map for Persian character set? Thank you.

8:38 pm, October 22, 2006  
Blogger Shirin said...

Bijan, if you have Windows XP on your computer you can write Farsi anywhere you like. To set up your Farsi you must go to ‘Regional and Language Options’ in your ‘Control Panel’ and then install files for complex script and right to left languages. You can go to this page
http://www.microsoft.com/middleeast/arabicdev/farsi/wPaper.aspx
and follow the instructions. There’s a picture of a keyboard on there too where you can see where each Farsi letter is.
Once you’ve done this, then a little button will appear at the bottom of your screen and with that you can switch between languages whenever you like. You will be able to type in Word or anywhere you want really.
Let me know if you have any more questions.

11:51 am, October 23, 2006  
Blogger bijan said...

Thank you for the info. I really appreciate it. I felt bad after leaving the question wondering whether I had maybe violated the sanctity of your site by asking an irrelevant question. You were right about my blog. I changed it a little bit and added some pictures on my first blog. Now I have to figure why they’re so small!

6:19 am, October 24, 2006  
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2:19 am, January 17, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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4:01 am, February 21, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes it is a fantasy

11:06 pm, March 12, 2010  
Blogger shervin said...

man Shervin Shojania hastam,naveye naveye naveye pesare Shojaosaltaneh.ama shoma ro nemishnasam!!!

11:55 am, November 03, 2010  

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